Electricity bill

166. 9 February 2022

A bill that leaps from sixty-seven quid one month

To sixteen hundred and fifty pounds the next

Has a curious effect on the receiver.

It’s as if a tiger had jumped through the window,

Eyeing me up for his next meal.

*

At first I don’t believe it at all –

There can’t be a tiger, I’m seeing things.

The bill names the ridiculous sum

In the brazenly stupid way of computers.

A human would wonder how usage

Could have gone up by seventeen times in one month.

Then adrenalin and cortisol bounce up,

Readying me to fight and kill the tiger.

*

But there is no tiger, only a bill.

So the adrenalin mooches around, disappointed,

The cortisol gets on with fattening my gut.

I’m depressed, in despair at the bureaucratic

Hell I’ll have to explore,

The emails, the waiting on the phone.

It’s boring and tension-filled and BORING.

I’d much rather fight a tiger.

***

I’m disappointed to say that the bill turned out to be bang-to-rights and so I paid it. At least I got a 20% discount because the company had gone bust.

***