Gaia: Affirmations for the Lady Earth

Every morning I walk dogs — at the moment I’m walking my ancient black Labrador Holly, grey of muzzle, wonky of back legs, often now incontinent of poop. While I’m walking her, I say my affirmations out loud.

“I’m so happy and grateful now that I’m healthy, fit and slim!” I say and go on in a similar vein. As it happens I am pretty healthy and fit, but slim… Nope. Why do I keep doing it? Do I actually believe in the Law of Attraction? Saying something over and over makes it so?

Much like my relationship with Our Lady Earth, I do and I don’t. My unconscious story-generating part is perfectly happy with the idea and points out that in a universe founded on the quantum, in which our brains filter out 95% of what’s happening, nobody knows anything anyway, so why shouldn’t saying that I’m slim with confidence and optimism make me slimmer?

My conscious brain points witheringly at my spare tyre and double chin and taps her foot.

My unconscious laughs at me and says it’s all an illusion anyway, so why am I worried?

Conscious brain says nastily, “Oh, so Lady Earth is an illusion, what a relief.”

Unconscious says (non-verbally) your investment odds are stupendous here: saying some optimistic stuff while you’re walking around the block and Holly is stealthily…