Lady Gaia: the interview 2

Me: Well I’m glad you don’t want to kill 7.8 billion of us…

Lady Gaia: Actually, I do.

Me: But…

Lady Gaia: The trouble is, there genuinely is a problem with wiping you out, which is the sheer bulk of you. 8 billion of you. Yes, I could simply evolve a new virus with an R of 15, like measles, and a deathrate around 90%, like pneumonic plague, and that would do the job nicely.

Me: Er…

Lady Gaia: But then I get a huge bulge of methane and other greenhouse gases from the human corpses and associated animal corpses and that could tip the oceans into anaerobic status which they’re already quite close to, thanks to your disgusting treatment of the oceans as basically your toilet. I’d really prefer not to wipe out ocean life as well — that takes so long to recover from, ten to twenty million years instead of just a couple of million for land life.

Me: Gulp.

Lady Gaia: Obviously, I won’t let such overpopulation happen again but it’s a very difficult balance to hit: enough people to get the technological civilization, but not so many that they can’t be edited if necessary.

Me: But… um… the numbers will start to come down soon. Fertility is plunging…