Rant

50. 5 August 2021

I’m angry with myself. I’ve been

Procrastinating again and have managed

To waste a whole month, with a whole week on top.

I’m depressed because it’s a grey day

And it’s raining of course.

I hate wrestling with the digital world

Where everything is bloody intuitive

And nothing makes sense.

I feel lonely because I need help.

I need someone to suggest things that might work,

To laugh at the idiocy of computers,

To rejoice with me if something works

Or tell me to leave it and do something else for a bit.

*

Not to tut impatiently and do it for me.

Not to insist that as well as

The complicated long and delicate thing

I’m doing now,

I should immediately do another

Complicated long and delicate thing

I don’t know how to do,

So I will have to spend hours fumbling

And looking at boring out-of-date

And useless videos in which a shiny-eyed child

Drones on about how simple it all is

And leaves out a small but essential thing.

*

I’m sad because all I want to do is write,

And I can’t.

***

Obviously, I need coffee.

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