Toast

202.

My photo

Once upon a time I lived in a student room at Oxford.

The nearest lavatory was down four flights of stairs –

So I learned to piss in the handbasin.

The nearest shower was concrete, across two quads,

Through a passageway and down some basement stairs.

I learned to wash my pits in the basin.

No new-fangled electric kettle was permitted

For fear of the ancient wiring catching light.

For coffee I used a small electric element

Dipped in a mug of water to heat it up –

Painful to touch and much more dangerous.

Microwaves didn’t exist yet.

Of course, no grill or Baby Belling was allowed

(Ancient wiring again.) But I had a small gas fire

In the fireplace, with pipeclay that got red hot,

Glowed like cherries on a plate with a smell

Of escaping hydrocarbons. I started holding

Slices of white bread up in front of the fire

Until they toasted, but the fork got hot.

I tried using the dippable element — nope.